He also has to make sure this young woman emerges from this relationship with no STIs, no fertilized eggs, no restraining orders, no emotional trauma, and improved sexual skills.Tons of Savage Love readers wrote in with specific, real-life examples of older partners honouring—or failing to honor—the campsite rule. — Dan Savage I’ve had two flings and one relationship (still in it) with two significantly older men, and based on one memorable positive outcome, I can offer a good piece of advice for One Less Douche: wear condoms with a smile.
So don’t pressure your younger partner to say, "I love you," to move near you or in with you, to meet your parents or let you come meet hers, et cetera. I was 22 when I was involved with a woman in her mid 30s who had just ended a long marriage. Once she got over the initial rush and reality set in, she talked with me about her issues with the age difference, which included the fact that her conservative family could never accept her having a partner who was so much younger.The memories are great and I wouldn’t trade them for anything, but I think OLD and anyone else who hooks up with much younger partners needs to be aware that lack of life experience will make young partners more susceptible to fantasizing about a future together that may or may not be feasible or well advised, no matter how honest and considerate the older partner is. To make matters worse, I had low self-esteem and felt obligated to fuck the rare guy who took an interest in me. He didn’t volunteer to wear a condom, and because I felt insecure, I didn’t demand that he wear one.I wish I had known about the campsite rule eight years ago when I met "Todd". We kept seeing each other and it never got any better.While in college, I didn’t have the strongest boundaries when it came to boyfriends and was pressured sometimes—against my better judgment—not to use condoms for a variety of lame college-boy excuses.I ended up having a couple STD scares and endured uncomfortable side effects from the pill (as well as the monthly charge).As an idealistic 22-year-old male who believed that love conquered all, I allowed myself to get caught up in the fantasy that our relationship had a future. She tried several times to warn me that the affair was time limited, but I was too starry-eyed and, what’s more, lacked enough life experience to understand why it wouldn’t work. For starters, he unexpectedly whipped his cock out as I sat in a chair in his apartment on our first date.Now I’m 10 years older/wiser and I do understand why it wouldn’t have worked; as she told me, I needed to have the chance to have my own life, and had we stayed together, she would have been a senior citizen at the point where I would be having my midlife crisis. At 18, I didn’t have the strength of character to just walk out the door.I’ve got a whole slew of stories about this asshole, but I’ll leave you with this: during all this bullshit that he was pulling on me, he was also demanding that we incorporate his cross-dressing and desire to be pegged into our sex life! Luckily I figured that out after a few months and dumped the motherfucker.I wasn’t enthusiastic about either of these things, but at least I tried. My current guy is six years older than me and for the past five years has been a model camper.He believed that using condoms was a good way to show respect for his partner.The next time I had a younger boyfriend who didn’t want to use condoms because they made sex less "skillful"(?