The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages). “The one” says you need to find the perfect person. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. You are asked to go from a mentality that says “End a relationship as soon as difficulty arises,” to one that says, “Don’t end the relationship regardless of the difficulty that arises.” That’s a tough switch to flip.
This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine. “Let’s just sit back and see what happens” might work in certain scenarios, but Christian dating isn’t one of them. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back… Here’s the deal: marriage isn’t a divine lottery where every person has one winning ticket. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse.” Not a good idea. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. This requires discipline, restraint, and abstinence from activities that don’t promote holiness. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. ____________________ I hope this discussion continues. I pray parents, church leaders, friends, and family begin to spark conversations about God’s design for dating.
Most importantly, guidelines and principles for dating will transform lives and shape eternities. The brokenness you see in yourself and the brokenness you experience from your spouse point both of you to the only perfect one, God. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target.
The truth is you could spend your life with more than one person. Get to know yourself.” And as soon as the person you are dating smacks his or her gum the wrong way, you are out. I heard don’t have sex before marriage so much I actually believed getting to marriage a virgin was the only important thing. In the process, I filled my heart and mind with lust, and I secretly struggled with pornography. Christians, instead, need to teach the importance of a pure mind. Make sure God is the center of your life before you start dating. Don’t start dating without an assurance of God’s love for you and a solid understanding of the gospel.
What you have to do is make an effort to make the dating years enjoyable. When I think back on why it was good for me, I can think of three major reasons. My mom gave me some great advice when I started seriously dating Stacey. My parents helped me understand the significance of love and how you don't just want to use it like it doesn't mean anything.
When we overuse the word love, it can become just another word and not actually stand for anything significant anymore.
For example, dating helps develop a better understanding of each other's attitudes and behaviors, how to get along, and can increase your ability to discuss and solve relational problems.
I did not allow my dating life to get so deep that the potential eventual break up would be horrendous.
This can only be accomplished in actual situations with the opposite sex.
God created us to need interpersonal relationships.
Other people get involved with church, music groups, writing, or any number of other fun activities. This can easily become more of a burden then a fun time.
The second point we would like to focus on is that dating can help you find a mate.