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"This says I love you and want to be intimate, but not tonight." Be sure to follow through on the follow-up appointment.7. Discuss what turns you on—and what doesn't—as unnatural as it may feel. Queen, who suggests starting with, "There are things I think about, sexually, that I never mention." From there, a general "Can we talk about this more? During the act, "maneuver into position and make sounds of pleasure to encourage your partner toward a certain behavior," says Dr. "Men appreciate these nonverbal prompts." They also respond well to comments that are about you, rather than about him.

So instead of "do this," try, "When you do this, it's hot for me."8. This may sound utterly unromantic, but couples should talk about how to fit sex into their busy schedules. Block suggests deciding how much is mutually acceptable, and whether that includes quiet sex while visiting relatives and unexpected quickies.

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