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An attitude of self respect’ Many of the girls felt that they were limited in the workplace in terms of how they conduct themselves.

They felt that if somebody said something unkind to them that they had to choose their words carefully before retaliating or in some cases let it slide so as not be accused of having an attitude problem.

The first guy immediately threw the A word into the conversation.

He said he’d tried approaching black girls in the past and was left feeling humiliated, so as a result never went back.

The other guy I spoke to simply said that he didn’t find black girls attractive, although he had been with black girls in the past he felt that white women were more attractive and more sexually satisfying (he was very keen to stress this point).

One guy did openly admit that he’d told white girls he’d dated that he didn’t date black girls because of their attitude.

Another girl I spoke to was told that white girls are more chilled and less maintenance.’ This, once again was said by a black guy that she was dating.

The first black girl I spoke to said, ‘We do have an attitude.

But now realising that I’ve been hiding behind the fallacy of a supposed African man superiority, I am ready to let go of the myths.

I’ve spoken to several of my African girlfriends and I was surprised to find that most like myself have also never dated Black American men. I recently met a Black man in the Bronx and we’ve been exchanging text messages. My culture is very important to me and I would ideally want to have that in common with my partner. Or am i like others who experienced some kind of teasing about being African in high school simply retaliating by holding out on our Black American brothers?

Now I live in Harlem, the mecca of Black American life. In all this time, I cant say that I’ve ever dated a Black American or a White American man. I’ve always said that the reason why i didnt date Black American men was because of the cultural differences between Africans and Black Americans.

I could never put down a black woman because it reflects negatively on our race as a whole’ He also went on to say ‘It pisses me off when people are dismissive of black women and labelling them unfairly without getting to know them’ Like me he had been asked why black men prefer white women on numerous occasions and he couldn’t understand why the assumption was made without his actual preference being asked.

A black woman has had to put up with many barriers just like other minority groups.

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